Remember This Day

For it is the only time I will ever, repeat EVER, defend anyone in the clan Simpson (as in Jessica, Ashlee, old fucked up Joe, and entourage).

In my daily time squandering, I happened upon a weirdly large number of articles and blog posts about a particular photo of Jessica Simpson. My shock was two-fold:

1. I was almost certain that Jessica Simpson had finally just given up on trying to be talented, leading me to speculate on why exactly it was that she was still performing.

2. The nature of the criticisms being thrown at this particular photo were fucking mind-blowing to me. Here is the photo:

Now, here are a few of the comments I read about this particular photo:

• "Jess's Fashion Faux Pas: The curvy singer took the stage in a seriously unflattering outfit." -AOL Music
• "Simpson Debuts Fuller Figure" - Also AOL Music
• "Simpson Proves Not Everyone Should Wear Mom Jeans"- PopEater
• "Honest to god her appearance couldn’t have been any more shocking unless she had grown glow in the dark tentacles." - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Hey, Internet. Shut the fuck up. Granted, Jessica Simpson is one of the most profoundly untalented people in the whole of the music industry (and the definition of untalented in the music industry is pretty wide). She does NOT, however, appear grotesque, offensive, abnormal, disgusting, fat, shocking, or whatever other sorts of stupid things you care to level against her. Call me crazy, but she looks good. Maybe that's just my taste, though. Maybe it's just some crazy, outlandish turn-on of mine that I don't like women who could die from starvation at any moment. 

She looks good. She looks better than good. She looks like a person, not a pile of bone and remorse with a crack pipe buried somewhere inside. 

This is why normal people of my generation are fundamentally and eternally fucked up. It's because that photo is seen as unacceptable. It's because someone, simply by virtue of being healthy and comfortable, can be rejected in an instant with brutality and without regret. 

I'm too angry to be long-winded while remaining coherent, so I'll leave it there for the night.